Scenario
You're working on a project with your team, and you're the manager/one in charge. You're experiencing discomfort/angst/anger at the project, you can't figure out why, and it seems out of proportion to the situations in which you're feeling the angst arise. You re-set agreements with your team - doesn't help. You set boundaries with your team - doesn't help. You do your mindfulness practice - doesn't help.
Practice
Sometimes, the areas in which I'm experiencing discomfort/angst/anger are not the areas where I need to make changes. In the above scenario, this person is actually frustrated with their own boss (an area where someone has power over them), and it's leaking into a situation where they have power over others.
Gabor Mate's Compassionate Inquiry questions have been very helpful for me when I need to determine where in my life I'm stuck, that might be "leaking" into unrelated situations:
In my life's most important areas, what am I not saying no to?
How does my inability to say no impact my life?
What bodily symptoms have I been ignoring that could be warning signs, were I to pay conscious attention?
What is the hidden story behind my inability to say no?
Where did I learn these stories?
Where have I ignored or denied the "yes" that wanted to be said?
Take care,
Nikki