Skip to content

Displaced Anger and Gabor Mate's Compassionate Inquiry

Personal Check In

Huge clothing purge this morning. I was experiencing stagnancy at work, and realized I needed to move some energy! Focusing on cleaning an area unrelated to the one within which I was stuck = super helpful. Feeling flow again.



You're working on a project with your team, and you're the manager/one in charge. You're experiencing discomfort/angst/anger at the project, you can't figure out why, and it seems out of proportion to the situations in which you're feeling the angst arise. You re-set agreements with your team - doesn't help. You set boundaries with your team - doesn't help. You do your mindfulness practice - doesn't help.



Sometimes, the areas in which I'm experiencing discomfort/angst/anger are not the areas where I need to make changes. In the above scenario, this person is actually frustrated with their own boss (an area where someone has power over them), and it's leaking into a situation where they have power over others.


Gabor Mate's Compassionate Inquiry questions have been very helpful for me when I need to determine where in my life I'm stuck, that might be "leaking" into unrelated situations:

  1. In my life's most important areas, what am I not saying no to?

  2. How does my inability to say no impact my life?

  3. What bodily symptoms have I been ignoring that could be warning signs, were I to pay conscious attention?

  4. What is the hidden story behind my inability to say no?

  5. Where did I learn these stories?

  6. Where have I ignored or denied the "yes" that wanted to be said?


In today's vlog, I share about how I'm using these questions in my daily journaling practice, and invite you to join me in surfacing areas where a "no" could support you to interrupt stagnancy and discomfort.


Take care,



Blog comments