---
title: 3 Things To Remember When Giving Feedback
description: Being quarantined reminded me of why my calling is so important - our personal work comes up STRONG in purpose-driven initiatives...
image: https://soilandshadow.com/hubfs/291839036_444942290515778_4685603831879951406_n.jpg
---

[Skip to content](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/3-things-to-remember-when-giving-feedback#main-content)

[![LOGO](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/LOGO.png?width=619&height=540&name=LOGO.png)](https://soilandshadow.com/)

- About
  
  Show submenu for About 
  
    - [Our Team](https://soilandshadow.com/about-us)
    - [Value Statement](https://soilandshadow.com/value-statement)
- Services
  
  Show submenu for Services 
  
    - [Executive Coaching](https://soilandshadow.com/executive-coaching)
    - [Fractional People Operations and HR](https://soilandshadow.com/fractional-people-ops-culture-and-performance-strategist)
    - [Facilitation](https://soilandshadow.com/facilitation)
    - [Training](https://soilandshadow.com/team-training)
- Lab
  
  Show submenu for Lab 
  
    - [Client Case Studies](https://soilandshadow.com/client-case-studies)
    - [Research](https://soilandshadow.com/research)
    - [AI](https://soilandshadow.com/artificial-intelligence-and-embodied-practice)
    - [Soil, Shadow and Spirit](https://soilandshadow.com/bipoc-leaders)
    - [The Living Altar](https://www.thelivingaltar.earth/)
- [Speaking](https://soilandshadow.com/speaking)
- [Substack](https://nikkisilvestri.substack.com/)

Open main navigation

Close main navigation

- About
  
  Show submenu for About 
  
    - [Our Team](https://soilandshadow.com/about-us)
    - [Value Statement](https://soilandshadow.com/value-statement)
- Services
  
  Show submenu for Services 
  
    - [Executive Coaching](https://soilandshadow.com/executive-coaching)
    - [Fractional People Operations and HR](https://soilandshadow.com/fractional-people-ops-culture-and-performance-strategist)
    - [Facilitation](https://soilandshadow.com/facilitation)
    - [Training](https://soilandshadow.com/team-training)
- Lab
  
  Show submenu for Lab 
  
    - [Client Case Studies](https://soilandshadow.com/client-case-studies)
    - [Research](https://soilandshadow.com/research)
    - [AI](https://soilandshadow.com/artificial-intelligence-and-embodied-practice)
    - [Soil, Shadow and Spirit](https://soilandshadow.com/bipoc-leaders)
    - [The Living Altar](https://www.thelivingaltar.earth/)
- [Speaking](https://soilandshadow.com/speaking)
- [Substack](https://nikkisilvestri.substack.com/)
- [Work with Us](https://soilandshadow.com/work-with-us)

[Work with Us](https://soilandshadow.com/work-with-us)

 Aug 31, 2022, 6:00:00 AM

# 3 Things To Remember When Giving Feedback

![Picture of Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png?width=50&name=nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png) [Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/author/nikki-silvestri)

Share: [facebook-f icon](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/3-things-to-remember-when-giving-feedback) [linkedin-in icon](http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/3-things-to-remember-when-giving-feedback) [twitter icon](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/3-things-to-remember-when-giving-feedback) [pinterest-p icon](http://pinterest.com/pin/create/link/?url=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/3-things-to-remember-when-giving-feedback) [envelope icon](mailto:?body=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/3-things-to-remember-when-giving-feedback)

#### Personal Check In:

##### My family has been sick for 5 weeks straight (yay back to school), and now the baby has COVID - but we're mostly asymptomatic! Feeling grateful to get COVID in 2022 and not in 2020.

 

### Vlog Nuggets:

- Being quarantined reminded me of why my calling is so important - our personal work comes up STRONG in purpose-driven initiatives. Human fear, greed and grief are significant parts of the "root problems" we seek to address in social impact work.
- A recent common way my team and I are seeing this express itself is in the way individuals on teams give feedback (receiving feedback is a WHOLE other ball of wax, for another time).
- 3 Things To Remember When Giving Feedback
- - **Acknowledge your responsibility first -** were you clear on expectations? Boundaries? Agreements? What did you do to contribute to the situation?
    - **Empathize with their circumstances -** "Whew, I know you've been through several difficult personal situations lately. I understand it's been hard for you." ; "Man, your first job after graduating is always tough! I remember how that felt, constantly learning and feeling behind - it gets better."
    - **Remember that it's "us against the problem" vs "me against you" -** It's a respectful parenting tool that's very useful in professional settings. People are in purpose-driven work because they care. Remember that, and stand with them against whatever problem is preventing y'all from succeeding.

#### Hear more script ideas and examples on the vlog above,and let me know how giving feedback is going for you in the comments.

 

[Executive Leadership](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/executive-leadership), [Quarantine](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/quarantine), [feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/feedback), [Give feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/give-feedback), [Root Problems](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/root-problems), [Empathize](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/empathize), [Us Against The Problem](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/us-against-the-problem), [3 Things To Remember Giving Feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/3-things-to-remember-giving-feedback)

## Blog comments

## Related posts

[![](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/custom-video-thumbnails/July%2019th%20or%2020th%202022%20Vlog%20Newsletter-thumb.jpeg?height=200&name=July%2019th%20or%2020th%202022%20Vlog%20Newsletter-thumb.jpeg)](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/look-at-the-places-you-withhold-the-truth-0)

[Motherhood](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/motherhood), [Integrating Feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/integrating-feedback), [Personal Growth](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/personal-growth), [Feedback Culture](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/feedback-culture)

## [A Gracious Response to Criticism](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/look-at-the-places-you-withhold-the-truth-0)

![Picture of Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png?width=50&name=nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png) [Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/author/nikki-silvestri) 

 Sep 13, 2023, 12:00:00 AM

Personal Check In: I'm in my favorite time of year - facilitation season! Last week, this week, and...

[Read more](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/look-at-the-places-you-withhold-the-truth-0)

[![](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Nikki%20Silvestri_.png?height=200&name=Nikki%20Silvestri_.png)](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/staying-grounded)

[Workplace Culture](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/workplace-culture), [Give feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/give-feedback), [organizationandteamdevelopment](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/organizationandteamdevelopment), [Update](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/update), [Difficult Conversations](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/difficult-conversations), [Giving, Receiving and Integrating Feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/giving-receiving-and-integrating-feedback), [SoilandShadow](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/soilandshadow), [Don't holdback feedback when uncomfortable](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/dont-holdback-feedback-when-uncomfortable), [Constructive Criticism](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/constructive-criticism), [staying grounded](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/staying-grounded)

## [Staying Grounded](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/staying-grounded)

![Picture of Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png?width=50&name=nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png) [Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/author/nikki-silvestri) 

 Oct 25, 2023, 6:00:00 AM

[Read more](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/staying-grounded)

[![](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Nikki%20Silvestri_.png?height=200&name=Nikki%20Silvestri_.png)](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/dont-withhold-feedback-because-youre-uncomfortable-1)

[Workplace Culture](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/workplace-culture), [Give feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/give-feedback), [organizationandteamdevelopment](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/organizationandteamdevelopment), [Update](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/update), [Difficult Conversations](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/difficult-conversations), [Giving, Receiving and Integrating Feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/giving-receiving-and-integrating-feedback), [SoilandShadow](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/soilandshadow), [Don't holdback feedback when uncomfortable](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/dont-holdback-feedback-when-uncomfortable), [Constructive Criticism](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/constructive-criticism)

## [Two Frameworks for Appropriate Vulnerability in the Workplace](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/dont-withhold-feedback-because-youre-uncomfortable-1)

![Picture of Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png?width=50&name=nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png) [Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/author/nikki-silvestri) 

 Sep 5, 2023, 6:00:00 AM

[Read more](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/dont-withhold-feedback-because-youre-uncomfortable-1)

"Learn from the victories of paradigm failure."

Charles Bates

Copyright © 2026, Soil and Shadow

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@type" : "VideoObject",
  "contentUrl" : "https://21092675.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na2.net/hubfs/21092675/August%2031st%20Vlog%20(1)%20(1).mov",
  "dateModified" : "2025-03-21T17:08:43.330Z",
  "duration" : "PT7M45S",
  "height" : 1080,
  "name" : "August 31st Vlog (1) (1)",
  "thumbnailUrl" : "https://21092675.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/21092675/August%2031st%20Vlog%20(1)%20(1).mov/medium.jpg?t=1742576923330",
  "uploadDate" : "2022-08-30T01:52:51.834Z",
  "width" : 1920
}
```

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@type" : "VideoObject",
  "contentUrl" : "https://21092675.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na2.net/hubfs/21092675/Staying%20Grounded.mov",
  "dateModified" : "2025-03-21T17:18:35.521Z",
  "duration" : "PT7M57S",
  "height" : 1080,
  "name" : "Staying Grounded",
  "thumbnailUrl" : "https://21092675.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/21092675/Staying%20Grounded.mov/medium.jpg?t=1742577515521",
  "uploadDate" : "2023-10-24T12:20:19.139Z",
  "width" : 1920
}
```

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@type" : "VideoObject",
  "contentUrl" : "https://21092675.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na2.net/hubfs/21092675/082123%20Vlog.mov",
  "dateModified" : "2025-03-21T17:18:40.898Z",
  "duration" : "PT9M23S",
  "height" : 1080,
  "name" : "082123 Vlog",
  "thumbnailUrl" : "https://21092675.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/21092675/082123%20Vlog.mov/medium.jpg?t=1742577520898",
  "uploadDate" : "2023-08-24T00:11:05.728Z",
  "width" : 1920
}
```