--- title: "Script: When your growth edge is different than your colleague's" description: Here's a script for moments when you find yourself at a different growth edge than a colleague: image: https://soilandshadow.com/hubfs/image%20(4).jpg --- [Skip to content](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/script-when-your-growth-edge-is-different-than-your-colleagues#main-content) [![LOGO](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/LOGO.png?width=619&height=540&name=LOGO.png)](https://soilandshadow.com/) - About Show submenu for About - [Our Team](https://soilandshadow.com/about-us) - [Value Statement](https://soilandshadow.com/value-statement) - Services Show submenu for Services - [Executive Coaching](https://soilandshadow.com/executive-coaching) - [Fractional People Operations and HR](https://soilandshadow.com/fractional-people-ops-culture-and-performance-strategist) - [Facilitation](https://soilandshadow.com/facilitation) - [Training](https://soilandshadow.com/team-training) - Lab Show submenu for Lab - [Client Case Studies](https://soilandshadow.com/client-case-studies) - [Research](https://soilandshadow.com/research) - [AI](https://soilandshadow.com/artificial-intelligence-and-embodied-practice) - [Soil, Shadow and Spirit](https://soilandshadow.com/bipoc-leaders) - [The Living Altar](https://www.thelivingaltar.earth/) - [Speaking](https://soilandshadow.com/speaking) - [Substack](https://nikkisilvestri.substack.com/) Open main navigation Close main navigation - About Show submenu for About - [Our Team](https://soilandshadow.com/about-us) - [Value Statement](https://soilandshadow.com/value-statement) - Services Show submenu for Services - [Executive Coaching](https://soilandshadow.com/executive-coaching) - [Fractional People Operations and HR](https://soilandshadow.com/fractional-people-ops-culture-and-performance-strategist) - [Facilitation](https://soilandshadow.com/facilitation) - [Training](https://soilandshadow.com/team-training) - Lab Show submenu for Lab - [Client Case Studies](https://soilandshadow.com/client-case-studies) - [Research](https://soilandshadow.com/research) - [AI](https://soilandshadow.com/artificial-intelligence-and-embodied-practice) - [Soil, Shadow and Spirit](https://soilandshadow.com/bipoc-leaders) - [The Living Altar](https://www.thelivingaltar.earth/) - [Speaking](https://soilandshadow.com/speaking) - [Substack](https://nikkisilvestri.substack.com/) - [Work with Us](https://soilandshadow.com/work-with-us) [Work with Us](https://soilandshadow.com/work-with-us) May 2, 2023, 9:40:49 AM # Script: When your growth edge is different than your colleague's ![Picture of Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png?width=50&name=nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png) [Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/author/nikki-silvestri) Share: [facebook-f icon](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/script-when-your-growth-edge-is-different-than-your-colleagues) [linkedin-in icon](http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/script-when-your-growth-edge-is-different-than-your-colleagues) [twitter icon](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/script-when-your-growth-edge-is-different-than-your-colleagues) [pinterest-p icon](http://pinterest.com/pin/create/link/?url=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/script-when-your-growth-edge-is-different-than-your-colleagues) [envelope icon](mailto:?body=https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/script-when-your-growth-edge-is-different-than-your-colleagues)     ## Personal Check In: Missed you last week! I was down with a nasty chest cold that ripped through our children's preschool. Continuing gratitude for my immune system. Also - Star Trek Picard is over and I don't know what to do with my life 😅. Today's vlog is a script for moments when differences in growth edges cause tension. Growth edges shift and morph. Sometimes I need evolution and refinement, other times I need radical acceptance and "I am enough". The BEST example of this is my marriage. Hah! My husband tends toward radical acceptance. I tend toward refinement and "getting better". Tension arises when I think he's not focusing enough on "getting better", and he thinks I'm not focusing enough on radical acceptance. However - we have a peaceful home when we realize that we should not expect our growth edge to be the same as the other person's. We're all different. At work, I saw this in my leadership as a non-profit Executive Director. Someone I managed needed "you're enough, you're doing great, keep going!" Their growth edge (in that moment) was self-acceptance while up-leveling their skills. I needed "what are all the ways you can improve?" My growth edge (in that moment) was expanding my ability to receive and integrate my team's feedback. If I had not been a good listener, I could have created discomfort for my colleague by expecting our growth edges to be the same, and criticizing her as a result. > Here's a script for moments when you find yourself at a different growth   edge than a colleague: ## "I need \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ to stay at my growth edge, and it seems like you need \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ to stay at yours. Let's determine how we can collaborate in ways that meet both our needs." #### Where do you see this dynamic in your relationships? I hope the script is helpful, and see you next time.     [Executive Leadership](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/executive-leadership), [Tools Used for Clients](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/tools-used-for-clients), [Tools](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/tools), [Update](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/update), [Difficult Conversations](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/difficult-conversations), [SoilandShadow](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/soilandshadow), [Vlog](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/vlog), [Insights](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/insights), [Team Development](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/team-development), [Growth Stages](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/growth-stages) ## Blog comments ## Related posts [![](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/custom-video-thumbnails/July%2019th%20or%2020th%202022%20Vlog%20Newsletter-thumb.jpeg?height=200&name=July%2019th%20or%2020th%202022%20Vlog%20Newsletter-thumb.jpeg)](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/look-at-the-places-you-withhold-the-truth) [Motherhood](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/motherhood), [Insights](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/insights), [Personal Growth](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/personal-growth) ## [Look at the places you withhold the truth - therein lies your complicity.](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/look-at-the-places-you-withhold-the-truth) ![Picture of Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png?width=50&name=nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png) [Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/author/nikki-silvestri) Jun 5, 2023, 1:24:42 PM Personal Check In: My children are 2 and 5, and they're JUST learning to play together in ways that... [Read more](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/look-at-the-places-you-withhold-the-truth) [![](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/image%20(2).jpg?height=200&name=image%20(2).jpg)](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/3-questions-to-help-you-integrate-feedback) [Giving and Receiving Feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/giving-and-receiving-feedback), [Vlog](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/vlog), [Team Work](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/team-work), [Professional Growth](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/professional-growth), [Communication Skills](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/communication-skills), [Leadership Development](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/leadership-development) ## [3 Questions to Help You Integrate Feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/3-questions-to-help-you-integrate-feedback) ![Picture of Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png?width=50&name=nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png) [Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/author/nikki-silvestri) May 17, 2023, 10:09:30 AM Personal check in: We went camping this weekend and I am LOVING my new relationship to stamina! I'm... [Read more](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/3-questions-to-help-you-integrate-feedback) [![](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/image%20(8).jpg?height=200&name=image%20(8).jpg)](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/dont-withhold-feedback-because-youre-uncomfortable) [Workplace Culture](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/workplace-culture), [Give feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/give-feedback), [organizationandteamdevelopment](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/organizationandteamdevelopment), [Update](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/update), [Giving, Receiving and Integrating Feedback](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/giving-receiving-and-integrating-feedback), [SoilandShadow](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/soilandshadow), [Don't holdback feedback when uncomfortable](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/tag/dont-holdback-feedback-when-uncomfortable) ## [Don't Withhold Feedback Because You're Uncomfortable](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/dont-withhold-feedback-because-youre-uncomfortable) ![Picture of Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/hs-fs/hubfs/nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png?width=50&name=nikki%20headshot%20blog%20png.png) [Nikki Silvestri](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/author/nikki-silvestri) Mar 21, 2023, 2:07:52 PM Personal Check-In: I've been up at 5 am almost daily for the last two weeks, exercising or working.... [Read more](https://soilandshadow.com/soil-and-shadow-blog/dont-withhold-feedback-because-youre-uncomfortable) "Learn from the victories of paradigm failure." 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