Personal Check In: My family has been sick for 5 weeks straight (yay back to school), and now the...
Tyre Nichols and Containers for Grief
This is Nikki Silvestri, here with my weekly check-in.
My personal check-in is that I am not on video today. Instead, this is a voice-to-voice check-in because there's an intimacy about our topic today that I wanted to share.
I am currently in the midst of a lot of change. My son is going into kindergarten next year and deciding where to send him is a tender decision for us. He's a deeply feeling, biracial black boy who expresses his emotional world in intense ways. Unfortunately, our society struggles with accepting black bodies that express themselves in intense ways.
Today, our topic is about containers for holding intense dialogue, difficult conversations, and transformation. Tyree Nichols is particularly on my mind. You may have noticed that I haven't been active on social media or in public spheres to talk about violence done to black bodies. This is because I don't watch videos of black bodies being killed and, if I do choose to, it will only be in a sacred container that's focused on transformation and integration of grief.
It's important to note that certain conversations and vehicles for transformation require deep containment to happen in ways that are not harmful. Social media is an uncontained space, which is why I choose not to talk about Tyree Nichols there. Instead, I will put him on my altar, pray for him and his family, and integrate his legacy into the work I do.
This is a reminder to set group process agreements and contains conversations about grief, loss, and emotional heightening. How are you containing these conversations? What agreements are in place? And how are you stewarding them? This is an invitation for me to remember to do so and for you to notice where you are and are not doing so.
For all of us, especially Black Mothers, black folk, and those who love and are allied with black folk on the eve of Black History Month and Black Futures Month, let's invoke the power of containment to evoke transformation.